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Pull The Other One – Christmas Crackers

Ho Ho Ho

Today, households, especially here in the UK, will be filled with laughter, loud bangs, and the distinctive smell of explosive silver fulminate as children and adults alike, pull on Christmas Crackers while shovelling copious amounts of Roast vegetables, Turkey and Brussel Sprouts into ever expanding waistlines.

Crepe paper hats, resembling crowns, will be removed from the blown crackers, along with a prize and a joke. The hats are normally worn during the meal, and jokes shared around the table afterwards. It is rumoured that even the Queen wears her paper hat during lunch. It’s a tradition I enjoy.

  • The tradition of wearing festive hats is believed to date back to Roman times and the Saturnalia celebrations, which also involved decorative headgear.
  • Christmas Crackers are part of Christmas celebrations primarily in the United Kingdom, Ireland and Commonwealth countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand and South Africa.

Why hasn’t the USA caught on to all of this fun? Maybe they think were all nuts. Lol 🤪🙃

Christmas Cracker
Christmas Cracker
  • A cracker consists of a segmented cardboard tube wrapped in a brightly decorated twist of paper, making it resemble an oversized sweet-wrapper.
  • The cracker is pulled apart by two people, each holding an outer chamber, causing the cracker to split unevenly and leaving one person holding the central chamber which contains the hat, a prize, and a slip of paper with a joke written upon.
  • The split is accompanied by a bang or snapping sound produced by the effect of friction on a shock-sensitive, chemically impregnated card strip (similar to that used in a cap gun).
  • Crackers were first made in 1845 by a London sweet maker called Tom Smith.
  • Crackers were originally called ‘cosaques’ and were thought to be named after Cossack soldiers who had a reputation for riding on their horses and firing guns into the air.

Cracker Jokes

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without cringing at the jovial cheer provided by corny jokes that are inserted inside of Christmas Crackers… here are 30 ridiculous jokes that I’ve selected for you:

1. Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

2. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker

3. What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neigh-bours

4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick

5. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s too far to walk

6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis

7. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive? “One day my prints will come!”

8. Did Rudolph go to school? No, he was elf-taught

9. What lies at the bottom of the sea shivering? A nervous wreck

10. Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley

11. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve.

12. How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas? 25 – there’s no-el

13. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles

14. What did the farmer get for Christmas? A cowculator

15. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer

16. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Can you smell carrots?”

17. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tyred

18. What school subject are snakes best at? Hisssstory

19. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head

20. How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7lb 9oz? They had a weigh in a manger

21. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside

22. What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful

23. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence

24. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow

25. What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker

26. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer? Beyon-sleigh

27. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws

28. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper

29. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like sprouts!”

30. What does a frog do if his car breaks down? He has it toad

Merry Christmas – Pax Vobiscum.

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8 comments

  1. I have been to a few Christmas parties here in the States where we have done this. I don’t think most people are that familiar with the tradition, though. I do, however, see them for sale at multiple stores every season.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m saving those jokes for next year! I make my own crackers and fill them with a gift specific to the guest and a hat, chocolate and of course a corny joke. Great read thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

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